anticipated arrival: last week
the birthing tub is here, empty. the birthing supplies ready. the baby clothes are washed and waiting. i am dilating, but don't feel anything else.
overall i can still say that this pregnancy has gone really well and that i do enjoy being pregnant. especially compared to what some dear women endure, i am very thankful! i went a week early with zoom, so i fully expected to have baby in arms by now. once the initial disappointment passed i realized this has been great timing. i feel great, and zoom and i have had some great times together that we otherwise would have missed. thursday and friday of last week were the first two days we had nothing planned in a long time! we just hung out, decorated the house with christmasy things, did crafts, played in the snow, looked at things for the baby and talked about the baby coming. precious hours with my little guy!
i have wanted to share some of the details that i felt like surprised me, and that i had a hard time finding information about.
*only for those who want all the details*
some things i even found difficult to find anyone else who had also experienced what i had. so, i wanted to pour it all out. pregnancy and birth should not be so mysterious. i think about our culture just 100 years ago (and certainly the current culture in many parts of the world today, just not so much in the states) where generations of women lived in the same home. where a young girl would see her older sister thru pregnancy and birth. aunts, grandmothers, friends would come to help with a birth. one of the things i loved about 'the Red Tent' was that bond between the women, sharing openly in womanly things.
today we learn more from the internet and media about our bodies, both how things should be working and what we should look like, than we do from our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, friends.
our sex education classes were a joke. i remember more of the embarrassment of seeing maxi pads stuck to the hallways than i do anything about my anatomy.
honestly, it wasn't until college, and reading 'Taking Charge of your Fertility' by Toni Weschler, that i found my body to be an amazing creation of God and actually understood what was going on!
so here is my list of known and not so known experiences in pregnancy:
- nausea - not so unknown, but it is still surprising. i get it in the first trimester, but have occasionally experienced it recently. and - it is really common during labor to throw up. this time around i actually believed that if i ate it would help me feel better (contrary to feeling sick because you are sick). and it really makes a difference!
- stretching ribs - yes, they need to move to make room for baby. and i felt it strongly during my first pregnancy - not so much this time, although stretching in general.
- hemorrhoids - you'd actually think it was more common, considering all that pressure and that seriously the babe MUST be sitting on the colon sometimes! what i have learned is that you can actually push a hemorrhoid back inside!!! i DID IT!! a little olive oil and slip it right back in!
- varicose veins - i thought this came with age - greater than 33! but this time around i've got a little mountain range on my right thigh. the great thing is that there have been very easy ways of keeping those at bay.
- stretch marks - skin isn't elastic - it doesn't just snap right back
- kicking and punching - it is amazing to feel all the action. and sometimes it can hurt. i feel like i should have a bruise under my right breast from where the baby pushes his leg against my skin.
- back pain - extra weight and extra hormones that help us relax right out of alignment. it is hard to ignore, and i thought difficult to get rid of until the baby arrives, but chiropractic care has been amazing!!
- appetite - gain, loss, strong preferences, really strong dislikes. i think the most frustrating this is not being able to figure out what i want! i usually love leftovers, but it has been so hard for me to eat day old food.
- zingers - shooting pain down the butt and leg, usually in the third trimester. result of the baby sitting on a ligament
- feeling your cervix dilating - feels like a zinger, but in the front panty line.
- leg cramps - lots of pressure all sitting on your butt and legs can result in cutting off some circulation. almost every night i get one that wakes me up - a brutal awakening, but it passes.
- vaginal swelling - the only reference i found was a very honest website by an honest woman who called it "cheeseburger crotch". that didn't exactly make me feel beautiful, and i have preferred to avoid using that term, but its there. it has made walking uncomfortable, but again, found relief thru really simple solutions: bathe in white oak bark, putting feet up and increasing vits
- peeing pants while sneezing, coughing, laughing or simply changing positions - its all connected. all that pressure, then add a little sneeze? its hard to keep all those muscles in control. sometimes at night i don't want to move because i know that when i do the baby will reposition too and i'll have to get out of bed and pee - again!
- clothes not fitting - my lower belly has been exposed for weeks now. really, even maternity clothes just aren't long enough. i have had better luck with a non-maternity shirt since the styles are longer right now. it will just be huge after the baby. i finally realized that next time i'll find a pair of suspenders to keep my sagging pants up too! might be kind of a pain with the constant peeing, but at least i won't be showing off my butt crack!
- sore breasts - i can no longer wear a bra. it is just too uncomfortable when my belly is right under my breasts. some cami's work better, but letting 'em hang is the best!
more? i am sure, but this is the list i can come up with right now. i certainly don't bare all to deter anyone from getting pregnant, rather to keep others from feeling like they are experiencing something frightening or unusual. i have had so many conversations with people who have been surprised to hear some of these details.
it is such an amazing miracle to experience a child growing in your own body. even the middle of the night awakenings are magical and will soon be gone. (and much easier for me to tolerate than small child waking in the night multiple times!!)
so, we'll keep waiting and enjoying our time with zoom. tomorrow we'll try to do a good cleaning of the house and i hope to finally finish up some of my christmas gifts!
