what lies beneath

due date: this friday
anticipated arrival: last week
the birthing tub is here, empty. the birthing supplies ready. the baby clothes are washed and waiting. i am dilating, but don't feel anything else.
overall i can still say that this pregnancy has gone really well and that i do enjoy being pregnant. especially compared to what some dear women endure, i am very thankful! i went a week early with zoom, so i fully expected to have baby in arms by now. once the initial disappointment passed i realized this has been great timing. i feel great, and zoom and i have had some great times together that we otherwise would have missed. thursday and friday of last week were the first two days we had nothing planned in a long time! we just hung out, decorated the house with christmasy things, did crafts, played in the snow, looked at things for the baby and talked about the baby coming. precious hours with my little guy!

i have wanted to share some of the details that i felt like surprised me, and that i had a hard time finding information about.
*only for those who want all the details*
some things i even found difficult to find anyone else who had also experienced what i had. so, i wanted to pour it all out. pregnancy and birth should not be so mysterious. i think about our culture just 100 years ago (and certainly the current culture in many parts of the world today, just not so much in the states) where generations of women lived in the same home. where a young girl would see her older sister thru pregnancy and birth. aunts, grandmothers, friends would come to help with a birth. one of the things i loved about 'the Red Tent' was that bond between the women, sharing openly in womanly things.
today we learn more from the internet and media about our bodies, both how things should be working and what we should look like, than we do from our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, friends.
our sex education classes were a joke. i remember more of the embarrassment of seeing maxi pads stuck to the hallways than i do anything about my anatomy.
honestly, it wasn't until college, and reading 'Taking Charge of your Fertility' by Toni Weschler, that i found my body to be an amazing creation of God and actually understood what was going on!
so here is my list of known and not so known experiences in pregnancy:

• nausea - not so unknown, but it is still surprising. i get it in the first trimester, but have occasionally experienced it recently. and - it is really common during labor to throw up. this time around i actually believed that if i ate it would help me feel better (contrary to feeling sick because you are sick). and it really makes a difference!
• stretching ribs - yes, they need to move to make room for baby. and i felt it strongly during my first pregnancy - not so much this time, although stretching in general.
• hemorrhoids - you'd actually think it was more common, considering all that pressure and that seriously the babe MUST be sitting on the colon sometimes! what i have learned is that you can actually push a hemorrhoid back inside!!! i DID IT!! a little olive oil and slip it right back in!
  
• varicose veins - i thought this came with age - greater than 33! but this time around i've got a little mountain range on my right thigh. the great thing is that there have been very easy ways of keeping those at bay.
• stretch marks - skin isn't elastic - it doesn't just snap right back
• kicking and punching - it is amazing to feel all the action. and sometimes it can hurt. i feel like i should have a bruise under my right breast from where the baby pushes his leg against my skin.
  
• back pain - extra weight and extra hormones that help us relax right out of alignment. it is hard to ignore, and i thought difficult to get rid of until the baby arrives, but chiropractic care has been amazing!!
• appetite - gain, loss, strong preferences, really strong dislikes. i think the most frustrating this is not being able to figure out what i want! i usually love leftovers, but it has been so hard for me to eat day old food.
  
• zingers - shooting pain down the butt and leg, usually in the third trimester. result of the baby sitting on a ligament
• feeling your cervix dilating - feels like a zinger, but in the front panty line.
• leg cramps - lots of pressure all sitting on your butt and legs can result in cutting off some circulation. almost every night i get one that wakes me up - a brutal awakening, but it passes.
• vaginal swelling - the only reference i found was a very honest website by an honest woman who called it "cheeseburger crotch". that didn't exactly make me feel beautiful, and i have preferred to avoid using that term, but its there. it has made walking uncomfortable, but again, found relief thru really simple solutions: bathe in white oak bark, putting feet up and increasing vits
• peeing pants while sneezing, coughing, laughing or simply changing positions - its all connected. all that pressure, then add a little sneeze? its hard to keep all those muscles in control. sometimes at night i don't want to move because i know that when i do the baby will reposition too and i'll have to get out of bed and pee - again!
  
• clothes not fitting - my lower belly has been exposed for weeks now. really, even maternity clothes just aren't long enough. i have had better luck with a non-maternity shirt since the styles are longer right now. it will just be huge after the baby. i finally realized that next time i'll find a pair of suspenders to keep my sagging pants up too! might be kind of a pain with the constant peeing, but at least i won't be showing off my butt crack!
• sore breasts - i can no longer wear a bra. it is just too uncomfortable when my belly is right under my breasts. some cami's work better, but letting 'em hang is the best!
  

more? i am sure, but this is the list i can come up with right now. i certainly don't bare all to deter anyone from getting pregnant, rather to keep others from feeling like they are experiencing something frightening or unusual. i have had so many conversations with people who have been surprised to hear some of these details.
it is such an amazing miracle to experience a child growing in your own body. even the middle of the night awakenings are magical and will soon be gone. (and much easier for me to tolerate than small child waking in the night multiple times!!)

so, we'll keep waiting and enjoying our time with zoom. tomorrow we'll try to do a good cleaning of the house and i hope to finally finish up some of my christmas gifts!

the snow has arrived

our first snowstorm of the winter has come and we are almost knee deep in the white stuff. i love it! zoom loves it. for poor hubby it just means a lot of extra work. i'm not much help with shoveling this year. and bad timing too since this was a crazy weekend for us. a trailer was stolen from a jobsite last week, with all the tools inside. since one was broken into this summer, hubby strengthened all the bolts and made it impossible to hook up to a truck, so the thief must have dragged it with chains. sucks. thankfully we didn't have to inventory all the tools, and our insurance will simply write a check up to the max coverage - awesome! that makes the shopping spree a little more fun and happen a little sooner.
then our washing machine broke - in mid cycle.
and then the snow started, making it beautiful, but a little more challenging to get out and around.

zoom has found a new use for my potato smasher - a snow rake. now it is somewhere in the snow. maybe we'll find it tomorrow, but i think it might now be considered a garden toy.

farewell to fall

i have been enjoying this last two signs of fall in between flakes of snow. the anemone always blooms right when winter is about to hit and she is so perfect and precious. then there is the thistle from my friend who moved away and left me some of her garden (thanks!). i don't remember the specific varieties of either of these, but i am sure savoring them!

they just keep coming!

the latest quotes:

"i want a brother"
possibly quoting one of our books about welcoming a new baby into the family

"WHOA! baby!"
imitating me after the baby sits on a nerve

"so mom, what's your plan?"
hubby often will ask what the plan is

"dad, can i borrow some money?"
hubby, "what do you need money for?"
"to buy something at home depot"

while running errands:
"we need to find God. I fink he is in the christmas trees"

i went ahead and did it

christmas music is in full force. i never pull it out before thanksgiving (except for a brief july listening), but last week i just started craving it. maybe it has something to do with the fact that we have had SNOW FLURRIES multiple days in a row. so today i started a station on pandora radio of all christmas music! it is fabulous to have it going in the background, never having to change cds and hearing new music/artists as well!
zoom seems to be in the spirit as well. or maybe he is just relieved that the "scar-e stuff" is gone. now whenever he sees anything glitzy he exclaims, "its christmastime! no more scar-e guys!"
i still have to work on him and the music. he prefers our church music, which thankfully, is fantastic, he would just prefer a few songs over and over. another favorite is three songs from the sound of music, 'favorite things', 'do a deer', and 'the goodnight song' (which he calls, "goodnight, farewell, all peters say goodnight")
the third cd is our cousin jonathan's music. he is a fantastic guitar and piano player, but the only recording of him is playing hip hop music. the music is great, especially the ones without lyrics. now anytime zoom hears hip hop music he says, "its jonathan music!"
i pulled down the christmas decorations along with the baby clothes and was having a hard time knowing which one to go thru first. i decided to pull a few first days clothes out and then save the rest once we know the sex and weight of the babe.
on to christmas!!

chiro magic

i finally went to a chiropractor. first time in my life. my back pain was getting so uncomfortable and all my other resources weren't quite doing the job. i wanted to want to wait another few weeks, but i sure felt ready to be done with this pregnancy thing!
my midwives had recommended a woman who worked with a lot of their prego mamas. they spoke so highly of her that they wondered why no one had named a baby after her. one of the techniques she uses has been successful in turning breech babies, and in general it has helped babes come out nice and straight.
she told me i wouldn't be able to tell the difference from the general assessment and her actual adjustments because they are so gentle. she was right. simple pressures in specific spots "reminded" my body how it should be aligned.
she talked about how easily a pregnant body can adjust to changes, simply because of the levels of hormones already in the system. relaxin, the hormone that relaxes our joints, muscles and allows our body to make room for the growing baby, is powerfully present in a pregnant woman's system. this is great for all the stretching and growing that our muscles and ligaments have to make. the flip side is that the body moves much easier into an unhealthy position too - like misaligned spine. the other flip side is that it responds easily to an adjustment. awesome!
having never been to a chiropractor i didn't really know what to expect, but i still think she had some unusual practices. first, she called me back right away and offered me three different times in the following two days! wow - i thought i might have to wait another week.
she has a small practice and certainly does private adjustments, but said that most of her clients prefer her family room, a room with 6 or7 tables where multiple clients receive treatment at the same time. i wondered how that would work and if it was just a way to get more people in at the same time, but it was great! while trying to relax, i was able to hear her talk to other clients, speaking in a calm voice. she would rotate between us and i felt like after each gentle touch i was able to relax even more. there were a couple times where she hit on a tender spot and i felt myself tense up, but having a few minutes to relax again helped me be ready for the next move. i thought it worked really well.
i couldn't believe that when i got up off the table i could actually walk without the limp, without the pain i had when i got there. it was more like an ache, like a good workout. and why did i wait so long?? it really was like magic.
then we went right to the MOA (huh?). not the best choice, but grammy and grandpa were in town and zoom had one request: take the train to the mall of america, ride the merry-go-round with grammy. who could resist. so the grandparents served it up while hubby and i took some time to do a few things. i ended up couching it in a comfy leather chair sipping my first eggnog latte of the season. ahhhh. one of the best things about the winter is eggnog!
thankfully, two days later i still feel pretty good.

33 and all is well

6:15 am is a little earlier than i prefer to rise, especially on my birthday, but zoom's request to "snuggle in mama's bed" made it a great way to wake up. we made yummy muffins together and i received numerous spontaneous hugs. then we headed off to caribou coffee for my free birthday coffee. i was a little bummed because i wasn't really craving coffee, but i managed to slurp down a breve. zoom helped himself to the coffee infused velvet topping (thanks gram for awakening that taste in him!) and climbed up and down the stool at the bar.
we did a little grocery shopping before heading home to meet the midwives. we had a home visit today and it was great. the pregnancy is going really well (aside from the sciatica, the hemorrhoids and the varicose veins! ha more on that in a later post) and i am measuring right on time. the baby moved like crazy. kathy had to pin him down so that we could all take turns hearing the heartbeat. she even felt a little contraction, but too faint for me to notice.
we talked more about the list of supplies i am gathering and it was fun to hear how some of them will be used. they will use my crock pot and big pots for brewing herbal teas to make a solution to rinse after the birth. the herbs themselves will be wrapped in cloth to make herbal ice packs! awesome!
one realization: zoom definitely fought for my attention. it was challenging to stay focused on our conversation. it makes me think we'll have mom take him to her house and we'll just call them over when the birth is really close.
it was fun to get loads of emails, phone calls and even a few old fashioned birthday cards to feel special!
i had zoom's little redheaded buddy today and they played really well, emptying out all the games and toys at once, the daily activity.
hubby had a company lunch meeting and brought me home panang curry from a favorite thai restaurant - a perfect lunch!!
then we went to the inlaws (or the in-family as they called themselves tonight, i like that!) for dinner. it was fantastic, as usual. just like growing up, i get to make my own request! tonight we had beef with mashed potatoes and gravy, twice baked potatoes, roasted mixed veggies (brussle sprouts, two different kinds of sweet potatoes, rutabagas, turnips- YUM) and garlic bread. coconut ice cream with chocolate sauce and almonds - wow!
i don't even need a gift! good food makes a fantastic birthday!

caught on film!

we've been bragging about our smartypants. i confess, i learned my states right along with him. but it still surprises me that he actually KNOWS all the states!
i picked up the puzzle at a thrift store when he was little, but he found it this past spring and has been totally into it ever since. we aren't quite sure of his system for memorizing the states, but he does know them by shape. when eating a piece of toast he has been known to say, "it look like wisconsin!" - and sure enough, it is the shape of wisconsin (which i now know since i have worked on the puzzle umpteen times as well). the other day we were looking at clouds and he said, "it's tennesee!", and while it was a stretch, the cloud sure did look similar to tennesee.
we don't have a video camera, but i have been wanting one for the sole purpose of catching this on film before it no longer seems like a big deal. so we finally caught him working on his states at a friend's house. i am sure that accounts for his few mistakes. we'll have to get him on his own turf. i love how this clip also captures his non-stop activity. he doesn't stop moving!
next step: the world map!

home stretch

with just six weeks to go i really don't have much to complain about, BUT i do find it in myself to think a whole lot about my lower back/butt pain. i think i could ignore it a bit if it didn't affect my walking. i don't waddle - i have a limp. but, maybe that is what the pregnancy waddle is all about. various aches and pains that make us rearrange our weight and move this bubble in a new way.
sigh.
i take a bath nearly every night and that helps me relax and PTL i am sleeping really well.
i have had two excellent massages. the most recent one yesterday. i can definately say that they helped, but i could use one EVERY DAY!
this morning when i had to tell zoom that i couldn't lift him up he said, "mama need another massage?". so cute!
so i am seriously considering seeing a chiropractor. i have never seen one, but six weeks is a long time to go on like this...i've already suffered a few weeks and i'm not getting any smaller. what if i am just out of alignment??
and i am tired of red raspberry tea. i just want coffee or english breakfast or chai or something with more flavor.

BUT, PTL for clothes that fit!! i think there were some snow flurries this morning and until last week i didn't own anything other than thin yoga pants. my friend just loaned me a bin of the cutest pregnancy clothes - that actually fit!! she is way more trendy than i am, and if i weren't cold i probably wouldn't wear the brown down vest that has a furry hood. but it feels so good not to be sloppy!

tomorrow the midwives are visiting us at our home. i am really excited to hear more about what things could be like, right here! my new countdown is actually 11 days. the midwives won't do a home birth if i go before 36 weeks, so i just have to make it to there.
i have had a few dreams (not like when i was prego with zoom) and they are strange. in one of the dreams i missed the birth - it happened while i was asleep. i was so mad! i had waited all this time to do a home birth and i missed it!!
the other dream i couldn't tell if the baby was a boy or a girl, and i was looking at him completely naked.
i hope they don't mean anything.

i am definately not ready to kick the kid out yet. i still have "a lot to do" - not really, the baby would be just fine, but i want to be a little more ready. i have actually checked off my previous list. maybe it's time for a new one:

• figure out where to put baby's clothes
• plan a few meals that would be easy to make and freeze (might be lofty since i hardly know what we are having for dinner this week!)
  
• write out birth plan
• make a list of helpful things for others to help with during the birth
  

okay, that's good for now.

placenta, and other new words

i've been checking out books from the library in search of a book that tells the story of a new baby from a child's perspective. zoom loves books and sometimes it is easier to talk about big things using a story. there are a lot of not so great books out there, but this one is our absolute favorite!

Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend

a young boy tells the story of his family's anticipation of the midwife assisted home birth of their fourth brother. the illustrations are fabulous and the narrative is really delightful. it makes me very excited to be anticipating a home birth, and makes me a little jealous of the fireplace.
zoom LOVES the book! the first time we read it he had a lot of clarifying questions.
when the mother is pushing out the baby, the illustration shows the entire family gathering around mama, who is leaning against dad, and the baby's head just peeking out from between her legs. zoom said, "so the baby comes out of the mama like poop?". since he is fascinated with the digestive system and has to check out his poop EVERY time (and mine too, questioning what i am eating) it seemed like a natural conclusion. so we talked about the baby coming out of mama's vagina. he always has to repeat what he has learned, "so...poop comes out of the butt hole and the baby comes out of the GINA!". he seemed very content with that explanation. a couple pages later the placenta was birthed, and zoom asked what it was. we had talked previously about the cord connecting the baby to mama, but now i explained that the other end of the cord was actually connected to the placenta, which stored food for the baby, kind of like a refrigerator.
the other day hubby read the book with zoom for the first time. when they got to the placenta page and hubby was reading, "out came a purple and red shape". zoom declared, "the placenta!!", then looking up at hubby he explained, "it's kind of like a frigerator"
PRECIOUS!!
after soup and toast the family all camps out by the fire together. it is such a sweet story!

yesterday i was wearing a hoodie and he was playing with the string. he stuck it into his belly-button and exclaimed, "i'm connected to mama again. so, the food comes down from mama's hoodie into belly". too funny!

i am really hoping that we'll be in labor during the day so that we can have zoom there for at least part of it. i think he will really get it - if he isn't too concerned about me being uncomfortable.

fresh quotes!

i've got to write these down more often because they come on a daily basis. off the top of my head, here are some recent favorites!

looking at his poop in the toilet:
"what did i eat last time?"

stepping out on the back porch:
"it's a nice morning day out!"
"it's very burrrr out"

looking at his morning hair in the mirror:
"dis hair is awesome!"

showing his belly button:
"so, dis used to be connected to mama"

checking out the stove vent hood:
"so....dis is where da hot steam goes. and den it goes up dere, behind the cupboards. den it goes out of da house and out dat vent"

working in the kitchen:
"nice job, mom, cutting zuchinni in half"
"help mommy EVERY day, AGAIN!" (translates, "please get me to stool so i can get to the counter")

checking out the bathroom plumbing:
"so...da poop goes down dat hole under da toilet and down dat pipe. den it goes under the basement into the big tank with pee and poop from odder people's house" (partially quoting his toilet book)

"it's we-dik-oo-lus!"

working on his states puzzle:
"where are you norf dakota? norf dakota goes wite dere. oh! dere is tennessee. uncle damon lives in tennessee. now next goes kentucky"

yelling from another room:
"MOM! come here for a second!"

out in the garden:
"i like thyme smell"

anytime he wants my attention:
"i feel a pee..."

leaving the lovin' it stage

32 weeks. feeling some discomfort. i guess it is different the second time around.
with zoom it wasn't until the week he was born and i remember shopping at IKEA thinking i would need a wheelchair to finish the labyrinth. up until then i could walk all day.
but it has hit me a little earlier. yesterday we were shopping for couches and he kept wanting me to hold him. i usually can distract him by a racing game or hid-and-seek or i-spy, but nothing worked last night. we were out too late, and he was tired, and i am sure very bored with furniture shopping. and he would not have hubby. i heard myself complaining like i've heard others and realize it is happening to me too. my lower back, my right buttock, my right leg, my left calf, my hips. geeez!
when i got home i took a bath and hubby gave me a massage. this morning i can't tell if i am even more sore or if the massage bruised me.
is this it? am i here for the home stretch?
since i have started swelling i have intended to go see my friend for a massage to see if that gives any relief. i have yet to schedule that appointment. we've actually asked her to come to our birth as well. she is training to be a doula and needs a couple births under her belt.
we've also asked mil to be zoom's personal assistant. we'd like to have him here for as much as makes sense. he is so fascinated with systems in general (he is his is father's son) and i think he would really eat up the whole thing. as long as he doesn't get super mama protective. if i am clearly uncomfortable then it will be easy to have him whisk off to mema and papa's house until we are ready to have him back.
yesterday we were talking about belly buttons and why we have them. now he says, "this is where i was connected to mama. our baby is connected to mama with the cord". how cool if he were to be able to see that - the baby still connected to the cord. i don't know that he is ready to cut the cord yet, but i can just picture him right there. "so now da baby can eat mama's milk"
that is the great thing about the in laws living just 5 miles from us, and that their home is another home to zoom.
we've also asked our good friend to be there with us. she is a natural health coach, is so fascinated with the whole birthing process, and will be a very natural support to all of us.
it is coming up really fast. i feel like there is a lot to do.

so - this week:

1. schedule a massage
2. pick out fabric for the rocking chair mil is recovering for us
3. order our birthing kit
4. i want to list more, but i should make it possible to actually get stuff done.

so here we are at week 32...and growing! i am not sure if the lighting wasn't very good, if i am overtired or if i really do have black bags under my eyes.

packages in the mail!

after much encouragement from my friend, and yet another attack by a virus, i finally went out and bought the books i have been wanting to have as references!
and low and behold, they arrived today!!

• Naturally Healthy Babies and Children ( a commonsense guide to herbal remedies, nutrition, and health) by Aviva Jill Romm
• Superimmunity for Kids by Leo Galland
• Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Years by Susan Weed. (recommended by the herbalist we saw about my swelling and varicose veins)

i know, there are tons of online references, but i like to have a book in hand rather than madly searching online in the midst of a sickness. plus it is so much easier to flip a page in any room in the house than to try to keep a sicko toddler on my lap while i try to find something online. AND it is great to have the opinion of someone i like rather than filter thru all the other stuff just to find a solution that works for us.
i'm not very good at getting thru a book, but i took my leg-break with the wise woman today and found out some great stuff! thankfully i have not had serious morning sickness, but i will be sharing this with my friend who just went on anti-nausea meds:
we all know red raspberry leaf is just an all around good thing for women, but it is really fantastic - listed in every category of this book. tones the muscles, rich in vit c, cit E and calcium and iron, vit a and b complex and many minerals, AND it produces fantastic fruit!! it also increases fertility, prevents miscarriage, eases morning sickness, reduces pain during labor and after birth, and assists in milk production.
but who knew that soaking bones in apple cider vinegar (releasing their calcium into the acidic vinegar) and taken by TB in a glass of warm water would not only supply needed calcium, but is good for morning sickness??! and i can do this at home! fantastic!

now back to eating some beets, sipping another cup of red raspberry tea with nettles and figure out what we are having for dinner.

potty, pregnancy, and whirlwind weekend

commando days continue. not that zoom is hard to convince. he loves being naked. last night we were at friend's for dinner and he told us THREE times that he had to pee/poop - and he actually did on her big toilet!! we actually came home with a dry dipe! but, each time it was challenging to convince him to put his clothes back on. he was so excited to run out and tell people about his success (and he just doesn't like wearing clothes). really, can you blame him?
we've tried using undies and he likes practicing pulling his pants down, and then back up again. i have to attribute that to one of his favorite books: "what to expect when you use the potty". he quotes it all the time! one of the pages talks about why wearing undies is so much easier than a diaper when you are learning to use the toilet. fast is good, cause when you gotta go, you gotta go!
he is his father's son - he loves systems. we've talked about the digestive system. he likes to remind me that food goes in the mouth, down the throat and into the belly, then comes out as POOP! we look at his poops and talk about what he ate. he often says, "more beets, mom". pink poop is fun.
the next system was our ventilation system out of the kitchen. "hot steam goes up and into the vent hood. then above the cupboards and out that tube" (walk outside) "and it comes out that vent!". we were at a restaurant the other day and he noticed the kitchen's vent hood - "where does the hot steam go??" he wouldn't stop talking about it until we got out to the parking lot and saw the vent on the roof.
today it is the toilet/sewer system (another page in the potty book). we empty his potty into the toilet. he likes to flush, and today he got down on the floor and said, "soooo, da wADer goes dOWn da hole in da tOIlet and dOWn dis tUbe in da tOIlet. den it gOes Undur da floor into a big tank wif pee and poop fwrom ofver pEople's tOIlets". every time we dumped the potty. its awesome.

pregnancy wise i am feeling really good. last week's visit to the midwives i realized i was only taking half the vit e that i could be taking and the pressure in my legs is so much better. yippie! we're at 31.5 weeks and the babe isn't missing a beat. at least he's letting me sleep thru the night! funny how in the early months of this pregnancy i had numerous people ask me if i thought i was having twins. ??seriously!!? i know i am small and this time it showed right away, but i still have not even gained 30lbs. now people can't believe i am already in the 9 week countdown.

it is hard to start a week feeling exhausted. our good friend got married this weekend and hubby and i were both in the wedding. we decided it would be best if zoom just spent both nights (rehearsal and wedding) with me-ma. he ended up sleeping over both nights with a little visit during the day on saturday. he hardly missed us. and we had a great time! staying out late is still overrated, but we had such a nice time! we enjoyed really good food, without getting it all over ourselves. the rehearsal dinner was at the palamino and wow - the food was excellent. it was fun to sit with friends who didn't mind passing their plates around the table so that we could all try each dish. the winner: penne pasta with shredded chicken, sun dried tomatoes, shredded fresh basil and a simple olive oil. serious flavor - the oil must have been soaking in the tomatoes and basil because the flavor was amazing! there was no cheese, no nuts, and no need for either.
the wedding was beautiful, in a small church in the university district. it looked very historic, old wood beams, concrete and brick interior. definately no need for decoration. and the ceremony was so personal. i loved it. the reception was at Jax cafe in northeast and the steak did not disappoint. we danced for at least two hours at the reception - i am usually the one being dragged away from a party, but we just couldn't get hubby off the dance floor. it was so much fun and i was very proud to have a hubby that would dance! now, we just need to get some dance lessons (for my sake).
maybe its that weddings are just exhausting. i can't imagine how i would feel if we had zoom in addition to all the activities. maybe we took advantage of being out alone and just stayed up too late. we were both falling asleep during church on sunday evening.
so i should be glad that today is a very rainy, seattle-like dark day. but i wish we had a break just long enough for the boys to get outside for a bit. it makes the indoors feel pretty small when we spend the entire day inside. i was proud of them for discovering a new game. they took all the canned goods out of the drawer, using the dump truck, and transferred them to "the job site" where they individually dumped each and every can. it was awesome to see them be creative and play well together!

a visit to the farm

a highlight from september was a visit to our friends who went rural on us. it was really great to see where they live and the adventure of their new life in small town minnesota. even tho they are easing into it, they already seem so natural at the farm life. a root cellar garden this year, chickens next year.
the boys jumped right back into their old routine: biting, tackling, wrestling, grabbing and loving almost every minute. my favorite was responding to cries from the bathroom to find BOTH boys in the bathtub diegs on top of zoom, both crying. WHAT? wish we had a hidden camera on that one!
we visited their little main street, the library, the grocery store and other places they frequent. this picture of the boys in the one-room library was one of my favorites from the weekend. diegs grabbed a hat, so zoom had to put one one too. they were actually "reading" the books!we visited the farm across the road from theirs, and the twin 3-year-old boys that lived there! the farm life is really ideal for our adventurous boys! there isn't much that they can wreak, and so much to do without getting hurt. not that they wouldn't eventually find the dangerous things...
we picked apples, made applesauce, played with the ginormous selection of toys, met the kittens, practiced going on the potty, compared belly size and pregnancy stories (shawna is due next week), and tried to catch up a little on the stuff of life. as anticipated, the time flew by and it is never enough, especially when most of the energy is spent making sure toddler boys don't injure each other too badly.

we came home with a beautiful bounty. they have a wonderful apple tree and sent us home with a crate full of the crispest, perfectly tart apples! shawna also gave us some (gosh! was it elderberry??) jam, yum! and the woman who lives at the end of their road has a honey stand so we picked up some honey too - with the comb!

thanks friends! we miss you but are so glad to have a good picture of your new life!

commando days

yes! we are in the midst of Commando Days at our home! thanks to our buddy diego who reminded zoom that peeing on the toilet is really fun and running around the house naked is even better!
first thing in the morning, the dipe comes off and he pees in the toilet (which now sits in our dining room). we had a couple days of wiping up pools of pee off the floor, but now he jumps up from everything except his beloved signing movie to rush to the toilet and pee.
yesterday we were half-way down the stairs to the basement when he said, "hey mom! i feel a pee about to come out!" we hurried ourselves back up the stairs and actually made it. he is delighted in himself!
the trend has moved into our reading time too. his two favorite books are "it's potty time" and "what to expect when you use the potty". in fact, he actually quoted the book which reminds you that the best time to go to the toilet is when you "feel a pee about to come out". super funny!
as long as we are around the house it is surprising how normal it is to be naked.
kind of like the story of adam and eve. they didn't even realize they were naked. i wonder when that innocence will disappear.
so here are a few glimpses into our day. why are such every day things so much cuter when there is a naked butt in view??

my belly is a punching bag

i just spent the last 10 minutes watching my belly roll.
this baby seems more active than zoom (who was very active) but i wonder if that is because i am so much more aware of him this time. can i handle another active babe??!!
i do love the belly roll and PTL he is letting me sleep at night!
i was experiencing some swelling and leg cramps, but since i have upped my vitamin intake the last two weeks have been excellent! so here's what i am doing:

• prenatal vit
• additional vit C
  
• additional vit E
• Biorutin - supports healthy capillaries
• liquid calcium-magnesium just before bed - helps with those leg cramps!
• taking a bath in white oak bark
• adding nettles to my red raspberry tea
• trying to remember to drink more water
• eating BEETS, leafy greens and other goodies that support good circulation
• putting up my feet for 20 minutes a few times a day

i absolutely LOVE that i can see results without having to wear those tights! tho when it gets cooler i might do that too, i just cannot fathom wearing them if there is an ounce of heat!
while normally i do crave my good sweetness (dense dark chocolate, smooth ice cream or a rich dessert) my craving for sweets has significantly dimished this pregnancy. i think something sweet sounds good, but when i eat it it just doesn't sit well. that's alright. i just wish water didn't do that sometimes - yes, water!! kind of gives me a stomach ache. while milk? bring it on!!! now that fall is here i'll be able to drink more hot water, (a soothing cold weather drink in my book) and up my water intake again. poor babe. i hope he doesn't have any lactose intolerance when he is born...
zoom loves to hug the babe, give high fives, and wait for a high five back. i just cannot wait to see how he and this babe relate!!

a fork in the road....comtemplating our growing family.

i have been thinking a lot about the arrival of baby #2. we are at such a pivotal place right now. we are three, a happy trio. if we have a boy, we'll be a very masculine home. more noise, more nakedness, more adventure, more danger, more accidents, more fun
a little girl will create such a different home environment. balance, variety, i have no idea what it is like to have a girl!!! first, i am a little intimidated about raising a girl. not sure why, because i AM one. but my experience is with a boy. girls seem so fragile, sensitive. ahh, but quiet, seem to be better sleepers (at least in our friendship circles), and aren't biters (although coming into our family the girl will probably be a biter too, if only out of defense). girly clothes (not the frilly kind, but actually getting excited about clothes) would be fun, and doing mother-daughter things together.
but how much of that would simply be because the child is in our family?
zoom loves to work in the kitchen AND the shop. he drills the wall and washes dishes. he loves to shop at home depot and garage sales.
he is so balanced.
and a teenage girl - yikes. although a teenage boy isn't exactly a comforting thought either. hubby says with a boy you just have to worry about one penis, with a girl you have to worry about them all!
what if we don't like baby#2 as much? what if he isn't as cute, talented, lovable? what if i don't have enough time to give what i was able to give to zoom?
at the end of this week i'll be 30 weeks.
i do have less anxiety about this babe. the pregnancy has been cake. no pressure to read all the books, no mystery behind labor (even tho this time could be completely different), more faith in my body just knowing what to do. we are very excited about the anticipation of a home birth. we have our list of supplies and i am certainly enjoying just thinking about what the environment will look like, feel like.
i didn't hate the hospital birth with zoom, but i am really looking forward to our own space, taking our time, eating the food WE want to eat, sleeping in our own bed. and blessed quiet after the baby arrives, except for, of course, the crying babe.
hubby confessed the other day that he just realized that the baby could come during the week. he just had it in his mind that since we were doing a home birth it would take place on the weekend. now that the offices are in the basement will we give them the day off? what will they hear? i did promise not to run around outside naked, and i don't think i am a screamer, but they will certainly know what is going on. we'll have to make music cd's for the office and for us.

people DO stuff like this!

we just received this invitation in the mail today. our very creative friend probably actually made these envelopes - i haven't asked her, but you bet i will! it is beautiful! the mailing label is stitched onto the envelope! i love this kind of thing and find it very inspiring. the art as well as the spontaneity of the event, simply to celebrate the change of a season.
she is also starting a new business creating and selling organic baby clothes. the website is coming soon. i can't wait to see the stuff, knowing it will be completely unique.
i love this blog and continue to find it very stimulating to that crafty side of me that seems to have been put on hold since the arrival of zoom.
i did pick up knitting again, and am making some really precious baby socks out of this fabulous angora i found. not only is it difficult to find wool socks for tiny babies, i can't think of a better use for this, the softest yarn i have worked with!
and i do have some fabric for napkins, and have borrowed my mil's sewing machine. i will get to those too! hopefully before the babe arrives!
i have read a couple fun books lately that offer a great selection of fairly easy to make gifts and things. one is Bend the Rules Sewing by Amy Karol. fun fun fun! another is Simple Gifts to Stitch by Jocelyn Worrall. wow. i need to do a crafty ladies night soon!
i used to enjoy scrapbooks, but unless i have a good four hour chunk (what is that like?) it just isn't worth it to me. unless i had my dream of a craft room, which will be realized some day. a place where i can leave an unfinished project out on the table and come back to it in a day or two. or just pop in and work on it for an hour.
stuff i want to make (or finish making):

• wool diaper covers - now for the next babe
• finish the knitted hoodie i started...ummm, 5 years ago!
  
• cloth napkins
• place mats
• curtains for our bedroom
• baby book for zoom - all ready to just scrapbook in
• repair numerous pants for hubby and zoom
• repair fuzzy bunz diapers whose elastic is stretched out
• a stash of birthday cards for the next year or so
• family christmas gifts. actually, i know exactly what i am making, but certainly cannot post details until after because i think they are reading this??
  
• dinner for tonight...guess i better get on that!
  

happy birthday hubby

sunday was my hubby's birthday. he was excited about the very symmetrical 33.
he was even more excited about the smoker he got with birthday money. he spent a lot of time researching all the different types of smokers (surprisingly ALL are manufactured in Texas) - he is so very complete about researching gear, and appreciates well made items. ironically, when he looked on craigslist, there was only one - the very one he wanted. AND his friend had just purchased a smoker from the very same seller, a retired man in red wing who was scaling back on his gear.
so saturday was spent setting up the smoker, getting meat and all the prep stuff he would need to make his birthday dream.

i made him biscuits and gravy - one of his favorites that i think i have made twice because i can hardly stand the smell of sausage in the morning. (but biscuits with jam - yum!!). we ate outside and tended the smoker. we mowed the lawn, made a quick run to a furniture store to look at couches, and visited our friends who had a baby the day before. while it doesn't appear to be a difficult process, there is certainly a skill that comes the more you smoke. the temperature has to be monitored, you don't want the fire to get too hot or the meat cooks too quickly, but you try to get it hot enough to get a clean smoke. the meat has to be monitored too, spraying it with apple cider to keep it from drying out. it is a fun way to spend a day. when our smoking friend came over, he couldn't keep his hands off the smoker either. it seems like it must be addicting.
and the results of our smoking debut: MOUTHWATERING!! the ribs were excellent and the brisket rivaled Famous Dave's.
Thursday we are having the family over for chicken and ribs.

getting my green on!

our veggie garden is amazing! HUGE! and we certainly are learning a lot about what to do next year. i do like chard, and i am learning how to use kale, but we planted WAY too much this year. so here are my two favorite ways to use kale and please share yours with me!!

Tamari Kale from Shelley
strip kale leaves off the vein and blanch them.
meanwhile, toast sesame seeds in a dry pan.
add sesame oil and saute some minced garlic. just as it browns, remove from the heat. add tamari (soy sauce). pour over drained blanched kale and serve as a fab side dish

Butternut Squash and Kale soup
(original recipe from Real Simple mar '06, but i changed it enough to call it my own)
heat 1TB olive oil in a large saucepan over med heat.
add 4 cloves garlic, minced and cook, stirring for 1 minute
add approx 2 bunches kale (i also used some chard) stripped off the vein and chopped.
add 1 small butternut squash, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch pieces.
stir until covered.
add 1.5 cups dry white wine
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
bring to a boil. cover and reduce heat, simmer until squash is tender, about 15 minutes.

i was a little nervous at first, it smelled so strongly of wine, but that cooked off and resulted in a very rich broth. i am sure you could also use a broth. we ate it with a hearty whole wheat bread and were glad for leftovers!(zoom, carrying a handful of kale away from the garden)

i know this is a little late in the season, but bring on the green recipes!

i'm back

after a very long hiatus, i am back into the blog world again.
we spend two excellent weeks in seattle celebrating my little sister's wedding.
highlights of the trip include

• being a part of my second most favorite wedding - my own being the first
• watching my own hubby officiate the wedding
  
• rejoicing that my little zoom DIDN'T steal the show, but walked down the aisle as if he were a shy little boy
• hearing him say that "dancing" was his favorite part of "the wedding show"
• getting some serious landscaping done in my parents 35 year old overgrown garden - it looks fab!!
• hearing zoom boss the dog, "jake, stay on sIDewalk", "jake, come HEre"
• welcoming hubby back from a successful summit of Mt. Rainier (and then hearing the hairy story)
• having four plus adults to one very active toddler
• sleeping in, nearly every morning
• not overbooking
• getting a night away, just hubby and i! first time since zoom's birth
• coming home with mostly clean clothes (thanks mom for doing our laundry the entire time!)
• coming home to find all our plants alive!
• coming home to find the businesses survived us being gone for 2 weeks!
  

the lows:

• every one of us getting sick at least one day of the trip
• zoom arranging his sickness during his birthday party
  
• coming home to find a sub took off with the down payment and some of our tools

my carnivorous home

it wasn't as bad as i thought. while i'll get my fill of beef by the end of the weekend, i am quite pleased with the final outcome of the big thaw:

• a delish meatloaf dinner
  
• 5 pounds of ground beef in the freezer (mexi night, chili, assorted casseroles)
• 5 pounds of rump roast on its way to being sweet and hot beef jerky
• probably 9 pounds of arm roast and a mysterious cut slow cooked into the most delectable melt-in-your-mouth meat. we ate at least a meals worth right out of the pot and the rest is in the freezer (bbq beef, soups, stews)

thanks to a great pep talk from my mil, i'm actually excited for another roast - they are super tasty and really easy! my 'American Classics' cookbook declared that even the toughest cut will soften when slow cooked.
it will feel good to turn off the stovetop and get back to some fresh cold salads again.

Kum-ba-WHAT??!!

we love ginger beer. now that hubby is off diet coke, ginger beer tends to be our treat. i was at a seminar a couple months ago when the speaker mentioned the bottle he was drinking was a ginger flavored kombucha and better than any ginger beer he had tasted.
i had heard about kombucha, but it went straight into the really extreme health freaks category. but i haven't been able to get his claim out of my head. since stewarts just discontinued our favorite, hubby has been talking about wanting to brew his own ginger beer.
so a couple weeks ago when i went to pick up my milk and eggs and there was a starter, i snatched it up, catapulting us into the world of kombucha.
here are the fast facts:

• aids in digestion
• detoxes the body
• good for constipation
• stimulates the metabolism
• combats aches and pains, headaches
• helps reduce anxiety
• helps lower blood pressure
  
• "good for all kinds of ailments"
  
• "contributes to life extension"
  

why WOULDN'T people want to try it? well, it is a bit tart, vinegary. it is expensive to buy, but its pretty easy, and inexpensive, to brew.
simply steep some unflavored green or black tea. add sugar, then the culture and let it sit for a week or so. then bottle it up, add the flavor of your choice, let it ferment a bit more and develop a carbonation, and drink up.
the results? hubby LOVES it! he tells anyone who comes into our home about it and offers them a drink - before he shows them what it looks like. good strategy. one of my friends thought i was marinating chicken - i guess i can understand why:
here is a look at our bottled brew. we'd like to get some flip top bottles that are a little stronger glass, but these work fine.

so i guess you can add us to the really extreme health freak category. now that we're here i don't feel so freaky :)

up to my armpits in beef

hubby came running upstairs this afternoon, interrupting his concrete staining project in the basement to shout, "the power was out and we lost everything in the deep freeze".
we are in the middle of remodeling our basement, transforming it into a two-bedroom apartment and more importantly, the new home of our offices which have made their home in my home since we were married!! it has been a slow project, nestled in between other jobs, chipping away during the evenings and weekends. in previous remodeling projects (we have moved 3 times in our four years of marriage) i have been able to work alongside my hubby. but this time i feel so out of the loop, unable to help with my full-time zoom job. the past couple months have been mostly skilled labor (electrical, plumbing, finish carpentry..), so our carpenters step in for a day or more when they can. now it is crunch time. hubby's business partner moves her offices into the new space this saturday. last week we sheet-rocked, mudded and taped. this week we finished the trim, and tonight hubby is staining the concrete (a super cool bronze-patina acid wash). then we paint and whew!! so some time in all that the deep freezer must have been unplugged.
we aren't sure when, or how many days it has spent defrosting, but i nearly cried imagining a box full of blood and meat. we get a quarter of a cow every year (thankfully it is in dec so we are more than half-way thru our meat) and i was picturing the rest of the year's supply of beef in the garbage, along with our friend's who we are storing until they finish their home remodel. at least it was something i could deal with instead of adding one more thing to his list.
armed with an armful of rags, a garbage bag and anticipating the worst i headed downstairs. amazingly the interior temp was pretty cool and some of the meat was actually still semi-frozen. not knowing how long the thawed meat had been sitting there i decided we should probably just cook it up and have beef for the next few days.
coincidentally, i have been craving meatloaf so that's what we did tonight (fantastic recipe from one of my favorite cookbooks, American Classics (from the publishers of Cook's Illustrated) .
now i am browning up the remaining 5 pounds of ground beef, freezing them for tacos, chili, and good old midwestern hot dishes. tomorrow i'll cook up the 3 roasts and a couple misc cuts (the labeling is illegible) and freeze them for soups, stews and maybe make some bbq meat.
in the end we didn't loose anything, but certainly didn't intend to spend all day today surrounded by meat.
what would you do with all this meat?

the bridge

on wednesday evening the 35W bridge collapsed into the Mississippi river. right in the middle of rush hour traffic. we didn't hear about it until our family out west called to see if we were okay. we were shocked. this is a very prominent bridge going north and south thru the state. zoom and i were just on it the day before, running errands and visiting a couple friends. hubby was coming home from a meeting just an hour before the collapse, and a couple friends we across just minutes prior to the collapse. it is a horrible tragedy and the scene extremely dangerous. the rescue and recovery continues today and is it remains a very dangerous situation. chunks of concrete, re bar, broken glass, pieces of steel, misshapen cars, murky water. THAT is a miracle.
i have not been able to stop thinking about this tragedy and my imagination runs wild with different scenarios where we are directly involved in the collapse. i can work myself to tears thinking about it. one keeps replaying in my head, over and over. zoom and i are coming south on the bridge when it goes out from under us. i panic immediately, aware that we are falling into the water. we hit hard, glass breaks and water starts coming in the car. somehow i get to the backseat and start to get zoom out of his car seat, but the parent-proof belt won't come undone.
in another version i get him out, but we can't get out of the car and i stop the story when we are choking the last breaths of air remaining in the van.
finally last night hubby and i had to go thru my plan of rescue to help me make a new story. we had actually just seen a show on water rescue where they specifically spoke about the best way to get out of a submerged vehicle (but naturally, in my nightmare i forgot everything i learned). what we learned form the show was that if you open a door or window, the water comes gushing in, making it difficult to stay aware of your surroundings and plunging you into the depths. water will slowly fill the car and it will dive nose-first into the water. so first i would get out of my seat belt and get to zoom. after taking him out of his belt we wait until the water level covers the lowest door (most likely the front door), breathing steady and talking calmly. the guy said that power windows and door will actually continue working for a few minutes even underwater. we'd go for that door and paddle for the surface.
what i don't know is how to help zoom hold his breath. do i breath into his mouth and then hold his nose and mouth shut the entire time?? i'll have to do more research there.
it may sound silly to have a plan for something that is so rare, but it has really helped my crazy imagination from going to the worst possible end - watching my child drown in a panic before my eyes.
another thing that has been hard for me is to read all the comments blaming God for such a disaster, calling him cruel and unloving. it is so easy to blame someone when we are hurting, or simply don't have answers. i do, however, consider this such a miracle! only five have been confirmed dead, and while 8 are still missing, there must have been hundreds of people on that bridge, including a busload of kids (sans seat belts) who survived! there are no answers yet, but it is a comfort to me that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God.

more on beets

responding to a comment on my previous post on beets (ohmygosh, someone is actually READING my blog!!) i'll share a little more about beets!
i grew up eating beets and i cook them the same way my mother did. trim off all but 1" of the greens, cut off the roots, and boil for about 50 minutes. the peel slips off very nicely. we ate them with butter and salt - it is fabulous!!
pickling is one way to cook up a bunch of beets at once and then sit back for weeks and just enjoy them bite by bite without having to sit over a hot stove every time. my recipe is simple, right off epicurious.com
i also really like a recipe for Chilled Beet Borscht from mollie katzen's moosewood cookbook. grate the beets, add salt, lemon juice, honey, black pepper, dill, a cucumber (peeled, seeded and grated) and a couple scallions (whites and greens). mix them all together, add some buttermilk and enjoy! it is a refreshing summer salad - and pretty in pink! i noticed that she has a few other beet recipes on her website - i love her recipes. she cooks really healthy and always from scratch so you get a real time estimate for preparing the recipe (which she always includes). she also has loads of suggestions for optional additions which is a nice way to make the dish unique each time.

pineapple twice in one week!

when i open up a can of pineapple, i rarely use the entire thing. in the past i've had a hard time figuring out what to do with the rest (aside from eating it right out of the can, which isn't bad). but not this week! two dinners, completely different, using pineapple.
on monday we had talapia - a fish i only learned about a year or so ago. also called st.peter's fish, which i learned from my parents after their travels to Israel. they were impressed that i knew it. it must be a midwest thing.
anyway, i made a quick and easy sauce which i got from the six o'clock scramble (an weekly menu of easy, relatively healthy dinner recipes that i received via email - thanks m.i.l).
in a small saucepan, heat 1TB oil over med heat, add 1 cup slivered onions and cook them for about 3 minutes. add 1 cup pineapple and 1 TB soy sauce and continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the liquid has reduced by about half. she recommends frying the fish, but i just broiled it and poured this sauce over the top - tasty. we served it with a wild rice salad full of almonds, apricots and craisins, and bread. it was tasty.
i sipped away at the pineapple juice, then tonight i made a new pizza - Tasty Thai!
i threw together some peanut butter, soy sauce, garlic, pepper and water until it became a good consistency for spreading on the dough. (next time i'll add a little flame). i sprinkled coconut on the sauce, added some leftover chicken, basil picked from the garden, and that leftover pineapple. WOW!! this recipe jumped to the top of my pizza recipes on its debut dinner!
i also made a margarita pizza using basil from the garden, fresh tomatoes from a friend's garden (she has over 70 tomatoes and gets more than a bushel a week!!! she's going to teach me to can next month) and mozzarella cheese. tried and true!

the new look

zoom has a growth. he has never used a pacifier, except as a toy, until just a few weeks ago. and now he seems addicted to it.
but, it did come just in time for a weekend of severe head cold. he is really soothed by it and i can now see the attraction for parents. i can't have him latched 24/7
so this is how we've been spending the past few days....horizontal, in pjs, my energizer bunny sans his batteries.and we've been watching the only video zoom is allowed to watch. an excellent pick from the library. he requests it several times a day, and is actually learning some new signs.
it's kind of nice to have a snuggle bunny instead.

i love beets

i am pretty obsessed with poop.
keeping zoom on a fiber filled diet (aka avoiding dirreaha) is reeeeeally important to me. i don't like changing any poop-filled diapers, even my own.
i've always loved beets, probably in part because it changes your pee and poop red. super fun for kids to get the whole digestive thing. i bought a bushel at the farmers market and have been eating them every day since. i made a big batch of pickled beets and they are so pretty!
so is it a bad thing to have red poop more than five days in a row?

body vs mind

"i began to understand childbirth not as an isolated event but as part of a continuum. pregnancy prepares you to give birth, which in turn can prepare you for later challenges. there just may be some significance in allowing the natural birth process to unfold. i realized that i couldn't control the timing or intensity of my labor, and that no matter how many books i read, my body would always be more prepared than my mind."
-barbara thomas, excerpt from an article in mothering mag titled "the french male midwife"

Vegas baby sister!

i hate vegas, but my first nights away from the nugget were this past weekend, and it was vegas. not my city of choice, but the people were choice, the siblings.
my three siblings all work for the same merchandising company in the northwest. their boss plans the annual sales meetings in vegas and throws in a company party. since my little sister is getting married next month, and happens to be wedding a man who also works for said merchandising company (i know, sometimes i feel a little left out of the cult), the office buddies figured it would be a perfect time for a bachelorette party. when i heard the news i got a little fired up about surprising her (and actually making it to one of her wedding celebrations). at the last minute things worked out and i arrived just 10 minutes after the party started.
it was the kind of parties i had heard about, but certainly the first of this kind i have actually participated in. the friend that planned the party had some serious connections (i am sure it helped that the company was occupying 400 rooms and rented the Palm's club, Rain, for its party), because it was VIP passes all night long.
part one: a lush buffet dinner, specific to the taste buds of women; build your own salad (with good stuff like marinated peppers, olives, and figs), crackers and a variety of cheeses, fruit, a perfect pesto pasta salad with prosciutto and mozzarella. nitters was completely surprised when i showed up, hugging her from behind. she never had a clue.
part two: the entire perimeter of the balcony of the bar on the 50th floor of the Rio, overlooking the entire city and as far as you could see in the evening light. warm, like 90 degrees warm, breeze maintaining a perfect temperature. i danced for a bit with the ladies, sipped on water and pineapple juice, then really enjoyed the comfy cushions in which i nearly feel asleep (remember i was way past my pregnant mama bedtime) but i had to stay awake for...
part three: the Rain, apparently the newest hot club in vegas. i wouldn't know that, but i sure wouldn't have waited in the 3-hour (!!really??!!) line that our VIP passes took us right by, thank you very much. i don't frequent clubs, but i was very curious to see what made this one so special. it was pretty incredible - for man made majesty. it seriously looked like a scene out of some movie. low light, loud music, beautiful people, modern decoration. we had a private party room with a balcony looking over the dance floor, an island surrounded by a moat. an octopus of metal beams rotated over the dance floor, shining spotlights, spraying "rain", and occasionally spewing fireballs into the club (and rising the temperature, as if we were asking to turn up the heat). it was crazy! the babe in the womb was certainly awake, hopefully not too scarred by the ultra loud stimulus. i lasted about 30 minutes before i just had to go to bed.
part four: sharing a room with the siblings. the room was luxurious, a hotel bed that was actually comfortable - and i got to crash for free since their generous boss was footing the bill. the only thing missing was a fan. i have become accustomed to a little white noise, and believe me, vegas at night sure isn't quiet. but i did manage to sleep quite well and woke just when i felt like it.
i was able to lure myself out of blissful comfort at the thought of food. nitters actually beat me to the poolside, while sugie and da met up with us later and we seriously basked ALL DAY! since the heat was powerful (around 110!!) we spent most of the time pruning in the pool. this was no ordinary pool, but many pools in varying depths surrounded by private cabanas, poolside two-story suites, and actually comfortable pool furniture for the rest of us. most of the office was there in the pool (was that weird to be vacationing with your co-workers?) as well as a birthday party for some professional skier. what a place.
that night we went to old vegas - where it really was about the lights. now they have a really OTT light show on an enormous dome that covers the main street, a crazy stunt with four motorcyclists inside a big sphere, and vendors selling knick knacks everywhere.
my cabbie summed up how i really feel about vegas. everyone thinks they are special, unique - and they are to their family and friends. but in vegas you become one of a few types of people. the gambler, the clubber, the party animal, the over eater,....the music is too loud and the visuals to stimulating to actually be yourself. it is too distracting to have a real conversation. you just become part of the vegas show. vegas used to be about gambling. but now gambling is way down the list, and more people come for designer shopping, top-of-the-line spas, gourmet restaurants, or the hottest club. vegas offers "the best of whatever it is you want". quench a desire and then "whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas"!!?? i think my hubby said it better, "remember that whatever happens in vegas comes home with you."
i came home with some really fun memories with the siblings, a nice tan, and to a little one who did just fine hanging out for the weekend with dada. "mama in las VEgas" he would say.

one good reason to blog

the quotes are beginning to roll out of the mouth of our little one...

• apparently i am in a band. this morning zoom informed me that he played in a band. when i asked who he played with he responded, "dad play guitar, mama play clarinet" he plays the drum and maracas, simultaneously
• this evening, during the middle of dinner, he waved and said "bye mom". i asked where he was going, "to the farm". who's farm? "shawna's" (a friend who actually does have a farm!)
• the walt disney character with the big black ears is "mickey house"
• while driving down the freeway, completely unsolicited from the backseat, "danger motorcycle guy! no helmet!"
• while sitting in his highchair, after eating, "i climb down. food everywhere"
• hubby commented that something was cool. zoom responded, "kohlrobi" - the veggie we just harvested from the garden
  

oh poop

my friend sara is in the hospital with an obstructed bowel. she just had part of her colon removed and has been on a catheter. her sweet breastfed babe is in the care of his sweet daddy who is diving into this full-time parenting thing with nothing to complain about (in spite of being up with the babe every 3 hours during the night and no boob to give him). i am impressed. we've had a real live breast milk drive - it is awesome to see the community donate one bottle at a time!
PTL for a healthy colon!
our baby is producing first feces! i am at 17 weeks tomorrow. this is going by so much faster the second time around. maybe it's because i am busily distracted by zoom's never ending curiosity. maybe it's because i am not reading about the baby's advances every single day (not even every week!). i am so thankful that i feel confident that God has created my body to do this. it really makes me sad that so many women are terrified about pregnancy and childbirth. it really is amazing to be a part of the miracle of life.

our first emergency

a couple nights ago hubby had just finished mowing the lawn and zoom was right there beside him as he cleaned out the mower. curious as he is, he began touching everything, "helping". it all happened so fast, but he managed to grab the muffler, still hot from running. could it have even been a second? it doesn't really matter, because it was excruciating pain for the little guy.
conveniently, i was watering with the hose, but he would not let us do anything with his hand, not even look at it. poor guy.
his screams drew the attention of one of our med students upstairs and he came running down to see if things were okay. he was a great help, trying to get zoom's hand in water, put on aloe, even look at it, but none of us were deeming trustworthy.
zoom doesn't cry very long when he gets hurt. just the day before he fell off the patio chair on to the concrete, earning himself a raspberry on the forehead. he didn't even cry for 5 seconds.
last summer he fell off a platform at the playground, landing face down in the sand, 4 feet below. he cried for maybe 10 seconds, but it wasn't until we got home and i saw that he was limping that i realized he really did get hurt. the limp lasted a few days, but was more annoying to him than painful.
so when i glanced at the clock to see that it had been 15 minutes, i knew he was in real pain. i've been burned before - it HURTS! for a long time. and the poor guy had no idea that turning away cool water, aloe and even a moist cloth meant he would be bearing that pain alone.
it was 3 hours of nearly constant cries, mingled with arching back and writhing in pain, that he calmed down at the suggestion that we eat some dinner.
WHEW! and to think this will just be the first of many.....
thankfully, he slept solidly thru the night and the first thing he said when he woke up was, "bunnned" and showed his hand.
i think we'll survive.

ode to good friends

this weekend we said goodbye to our good friends, "a.borealis" and "starbeans". they moved to a farm in a small town about three hours away. we are so sad to see them go and have enjoyed our times together so much. kindred spirits indeed. you never know who you are going to meet at a christmas party - BECAUSE you brought the little one!
we are so happy for them, and slightly jealous that they get to live the farm life! and we will visit. promise! i can't wait to see the property and hear how the transition goes for the family.
so, see you soon friends, and (i never thought i would say this) thank God for the internet and that even small towns have access at the local library :)
you can follow their journey here.

what makes a day?

hubby has been waking up before 5am for over a month to work out. good for him. seriously, i am proud of him for being that dedicated, because even when i was working at 5.30am i could barely allow myself to get out of bed before it is officially the morning hour.
anyway, occasionally zoom feels like it is time for him to wake up too. now believe me when i say that i am so thankful that his 5.30am trend is over, but that doesn't make it any easier when every once in a while he reverts.
today was one of those mornings that started before it should have. he isn't nursing in the morning anymore, so it is go time from the first minute. that started my bad mood. not more than 10 minutes into the "morning" he was playing with a commuter mug and whacked me in the lip with the stainless rim. i almost swore (which i think if you knew me you would affirm that i must be having a bad day). it hurt so bad. i know it was an accident, but that didn't keep the swelling down. zoom was so sweet, giving me silent smootches on the shoulder, but that didn't keep it from throbbing.
we've started caring for a 1.5 year old, mr.d, and he arrived at 7.30. shortly thereafter we sat down for breakfast, raspberry oatmeal. these boys love to eat, but the red raspberry oatmeal was everywhere BUT in the mouth. why didn't we have plain oatmeal? they were using their forks as hammers, tossing food onto the floor, climbing out of their chairs before hand washing.
thursday we pick up milk and eggs from the farm's drop off site in the city, so i pack up the boys in the chariot and ride. this was the first moment of peace. the first ride with quietness in the back. usually i am requested to sing "teeny, tiny tunnel" as we ride under every overpass (i am pretty sure there are 19 on our ride). frequently there are screams as one hand somehow gets in the other boys mouth and the jaws know nothing but to clamp down. always there is running commentary. but today was silent. i think i even heard a yawn. probably the 5am wake up.

as i rode i thought about what it is that make a day a "good one". did i start off in a bad mood so i was only seeing the bad stuff in the day? was i subconsciously cursing my day? do my days usually have stuff like this happen, but when i am feeling good i just see the balance of it all? can i pray myself out of a bad mood, putting things into "greater" perspective? do we just have good days and bad days and there isn't anything we can do about it? maybe there is purpose in suffering during those bad days.

the farmer was still unloading his truck when we arrived and he dared to ask me how the morning was going. i told him he was the wrong person for me to complain to about waking up early (he confessed that he got to "sleep in" until 4am this morning)
maybe it is perspective. i rode home without getting overheated and the boys arrived with all their fingers, tho one had bite marks. and i found a handful of curls in the bottom of the trailer after they got out. they played outside the rest of the morning, getting so absolutely filthy that i had them bathe in the pool rather than track everything thru the house (see, i am thinking ahead, avoiding further opportunities to fall into the mire of self-pity). they ate a good lunch, happily, and both took good naps.
i worked on organizing my stack of recipes in an effort toward being more organized about meals. my lip isn't throbbing anymore, just fat and purple. we had a nice dinner outside with brian, who lives upstairs. zoom adores the guys upstairs, and they are pretty entertained by him. brian is even the zoom-pronounciation of the letter y, when singing the ABC song (y-and=brian)
i think i really did appreciate the second half of the day much more than the first. even tho zoom AGAIN got filthy in the backyard and had to have a second bath in one day!
did i change perspective, thus able to see the goodness, or did things really take a turn?