a fork in the road....comtemplating our growing family.

i have been thinking a lot about the arrival of baby #2. we are at such a pivotal place right now. we are three, a happy trio. if we have a boy, we'll be a very masculine home. more noise, more nakedness, more adventure, more danger, more accidents, more fun
a little girl will create such a different home environment. balance, variety, i have no idea what it is like to have a girl!!! first, i am a little intimidated about raising a girl. not sure why, because i AM one. but my experience is with a boy. girls seem so fragile, sensitive. ahh, but quiet, seem to be better sleepers (at least in our friendship circles), and aren't biters (although coming into our family the girl will probably be a biter too, if only out of defense). girly clothes (not the frilly kind, but actually getting excited about clothes) would be fun, and doing mother-daughter things together.
but how much of that would simply be because the child is in our family?
zoom loves to work in the kitchen AND the shop. he drills the wall and washes dishes. he loves to shop at home depot and garage sales.
he is so balanced.
and a teenage girl - yikes. although a teenage boy isn't exactly a comforting thought either. hubby says with a boy you just have to worry about one penis, with a girl you have to worry about them all!
what if we don't like baby#2 as much? what if he isn't as cute, talented, lovable? what if i don't have enough time to give what i was able to give to zoom?
at the end of this week i'll be 30 weeks.
i do have less anxiety about this babe. the pregnancy has been cake. no pressure to read all the books, no mystery behind labor (even tho this time could be completely different), more faith in my body just knowing what to do. we are very excited about the anticipation of a home birth. we have our list of supplies and i am certainly enjoying just thinking about what the environment will look like, feel like.
i didn't hate the hospital birth with zoom, but i am really looking forward to our own space, taking our time, eating the food WE want to eat, sleeping in our own bed. and blessed quiet after the baby arrives, except for, of course, the crying babe.
hubby confessed the other day that he just realized that the baby could come during the week. he just had it in his mind that since we were doing a home birth it would take place on the weekend. now that the offices are in the basement will we give them the day off? what will they hear? i did promise not to run around outside naked, and i don't think i am a screamer, but they will certainly know what is going on. we'll have to make music cd's for the office and for us.